how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
