Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
