I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
