I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
