you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
