i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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