I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
