but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
