he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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