worst night to have a conscience
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
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I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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