New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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