Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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