I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
