Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
