No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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