Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
