When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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