Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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