you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My ass is underappreciated
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
