I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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