I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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