Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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