it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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