hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
