I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
