How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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