I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
COCAINE IS GR8
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
