I am puke
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
