FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
