you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
