You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize