I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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