I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
