I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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