I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
