Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
