she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
