Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
