You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
