best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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