party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
