so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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