drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize