guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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