Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
