Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
