Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize