I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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