How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
