hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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