Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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