no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think people are normalizing furries
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
