I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Someone signed my nipple.
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