I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
