he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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