The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think people are normalizing furries
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
