he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
