I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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