dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
