I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
