never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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