Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I FOUND THE LEGS
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
