Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
