so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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