Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
